Do your boobs hurt?
Hello World!
Help me welcome week 7 of motherhood where I am completely raw and vulnerable about my journey thus far! Baby girl is crying right now, and the only thing that is phasing me is that my nipples are so sore when she cries. She is being taken care of while I am in bed at the moment writing this blog since this is a little bit of “me time” that I get. Here I go over-explaining myself about what I am doing with “me time” for it to feel like I am not a bad mom. I could be out running errands, grabbing lunch, but I am so incredibly exhausted so staying home and writing something before I nap or pump sounds like a better use of my time.
Do all mothers suffer from “mom guilt”? I have always felt anxious with the way people think of me, but man when you become a mom it feels like the whole world is looking at you, even when that’s not true. When I first had my daughter, I was incredibly eager to breastfeed. That all changed the moment she came out and her latch was intense; I felt my nipples tearing apart, it was traumatizing and I would cringe every time it was feeding time, which was every hour. I gave it a solid 4 weeks, going into my lactation specialist office and asking for help, and her analyzing, and finally telling me she wouldn’t blame me if I wanted to stop. I cried so much during this process, but finally one day during week 4, I looked at my little girl screaming her head off while on my boob, and asked her… “are you ready to be done my love”? I knew we were both over this journey, and just because I stopped breastfeeding didn’t mean that I wouldn’t bond with my little one any less. I hate that no one talks about how difficult it is too breastfeed, and how unnatural it feels to be a mom sometimes…
As a mom, I have quickly learned how to surrender. My ideologies before becoming a mom have completely gone out the door, good or bad I think that’s bound to happen, and is completely normal. I surrendered to changing my perspective on breastfeeding versus bottle feeding, and it has helped my mental health tremendously. My little girl is now 12pounds at 7 weeks and is growing quick, just because I made the decisions to stop breastfeeding doesn’t mean that my baby girl is not getting the same nutrition and antibodies from me. Pumping and supplementing with formula has been a life saver for us, and the sooner we stop glamorizing breastfeeding the sooner it will help so many mothers feel okay with their situations. After all, a fed baby is a happy baby, and in turn they will have happy parents.
Sending so much love.
Mel
